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How To: Help Parents Encourage Social Development

Many children have difficulty making friends for a variety of reasons. Children may be have poor social skills, be shy, be hyper, have atypcial interests, or come from a different background than their classmates which may challenge them socially. Unfortunately, your ability to help students make friends at school may be limited by time and activity constraints. Parents have an opportunity to encourage social development through a variety of means.

Here are some suggestions to offer parents when discussing your concerns about their child’s friendship skills.

Encourage parents to:

1. Limit the time after school that the student can watch TV, play video games, or play on the Internet.

2. Make sure that their child has games and sports equipment at home that require at least 2 players.

3. When their child seems bored at home, encourage them to call a friend or go to a friend’s house.

4. Have at least one day per week for a friend to come over.

5. On family outings, have the student invite a friend along.

6. Talk with other parents about getting families together or having the children get together.

7. Encourage the student to join a team or club with kids their age. Preferably one with structured activities and required participation.

8. Take their child to places where other children are playing, like the park.

9. Regularly observe their child playing and interacting with peers. Take note of any problematic situations or any poor social skills they display. Point out constructively to their child what they noticed them do in the situation, what the effects were (on their dynamic with others), and what they could do differently in the same situation. Role play with them to practice.

*Remind your parents that their child may resist these social situations and say they don’t want to or that they feel “forced”. However, tough love and continued socialization may be exactly what the student needs. Trying new things can be difficult, but for the child to stay in a dysfunctional social pattern is perhaps more difficult in the long run. *

For classroom ideas, check out The Apple’s related article, Tips for Teachers: Working with Children Who Are Shy.

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